In 1950, psychologist Gertrude Hildreth described the attention spans of six-year-old children by saying, “Children of this age seem built for action rather than sitting still.” As parents and teachers know, toddlers and preschoolers often seem to be built for nonstop action.
It’s common for adults to find themselves on the verge of losing their patience when young children resist even the most gentle encouragement to focus on a particular task. The good news is that we can help children slowly but surely increase their attention spans by modeling focused attention ourselves.
A good place to start is to practice giving a child your undivided attention. Sometimes our attention is unavoidably scattered as dinner’s in the oven, the phone rings, a sibling needs a diaper change, or all of the above. When you can find stretches of time to focus one-on-one with a child, this provides a solid model for how to pay attention. It doesn’t have to be long: aim for 10 to 20 minutes, but even five minutes of undivided attention will model focused behavior.
Another tip is to spend time in close physical proximity with your child. It’s easy to wander in and out of the room when your child is playing, but it can really help to make an effort to set aside chunks of time where you’re close together. This closeness makes it natural to pay attention to each other as you engage in a shared activity or even just talk to each other.
When your child calls out a question or starts talking to you, be sure to come into the same room, sit or stand close to your child, and make eye contact as you respond. It’s tempting to shout out a response from the other room when you’re in the middle of something, but coming into the same room to talk is a great way to model attentiveness.
Having conversations with your child is one of the best ways to increase their attention span. When asking a child to do something, it helps to make eye contact and give specific instructions. When you notice that your child’s focus has wandered, try giving gentle reminders and asking clear questions.
To increase the likelihood of your child being able to pay attention, be mindful of your child’s needs. Children who are feeling hungry or restless would benefit from a healthy snack or a little exercise before trying to focus. Choose your moments to maximize a child’s ability to pay attention. Ask yourself: what has your child just been doing, and what does he or she need to do now?
Take steps to avoid distraction when you can. If you want your child to focus, choose an environment without other people, noise, and so on. It might help to be in a different room than the TV, computer, or other potentially distracting things. By the way, limiting screen time is another great way to build attention because activities like watching TV and playing computer games tend to be overstimulating and work against a child’s ability to focus.
Focus on one small thing at a time, and try hands-on activities like asking your child to help with cooking or other household activities. Reading books and doing art projects are also excellent ideas. It doesn’t have to be anything complicated: find a coloring book your child loves, for example, or play a simple board game together like children’s bingo.
In short, the best way to build attention is with activities a child wants to do—and the more parents and teachers spend time sharing these activities with children, the more our children naturally learn to focus, and for longer and longer periods of time.
